Quick answer
Prepare a small decision pack for the first consultation, not an unfiltered archive. Lead with any court papers and dates, the marriage documents, existing orders or signed agreements, a one-page family overview, the current care and contact routine, a child-expense schedule, both spouses' financial position where lawfully available, and the draft or dispute that requires advice.
Key takeaways
- Put served court papers, orders and actual deadlines before background material.
- Give the lawyer a neutral one-page overview of the family, children and disputed decisions.
- Separate current operative documents from unsigned proposals and working summaries.
- Use recent child-cost and household figures supported by a few representative records.
- Identify missing or inaccessible records without entering accounts you may not lawfully access.
- Ask what should be sent before the meeting and what may remain in the underlying archive.
How to use this guide
If something is missing, list it instead of delaying urgent advice. Keep the complete source archive separately and send sensitive records only through the verified channel requested by the practitioner.
1. Start with the document that creates urgency
If a summons, notice, application, order, hearing date or formal demand exists, place the complete document first. Include every page, annexure, case number and available proof of service. Record when and how it was received, but do not calculate a legal deadline from memory; ask the lawyer to confirm the applicable rule and date.
If there is an immediate safety concern, threatened removal of a child or urgent financial need, say that clearly when booking. Document preparation must not delay emergency or protective assistance.
2. Add the marriage and current legal framework
Include clear copies of:
- the marriage certificate;
- identity documents requested through the secure intake process;
- the antenuptial contract, if any;
- existing divorce or family-court papers;
- current parenting plans, maintenance orders and protection orders;
- prior settlement agreements or Family Advocate reports; and
- the latest draft requiring review.
Mark documents as operative, draft, expired, disputed or status unknown. An unsigned parenting proposal should never be presented as though it is a court order.
3. Prepare a one-page family and issue overview
Give the practitioner a compact summary containing:
- the spouses and marriage date;
- each child's age, school and ordinary home;
- the current weekly care, contact and transport routine;
- maintenance presently paid or received;
- the known matrimonial-property regime;
- the decisions currently disputed;
- any existing proceedings or office involved; and
- the outcome needed from this consultation.
Use neutral language. If a fact is disputed, label it as disputed and identify the record supporting each version.
4. Bring the current child-arrangements snapshot
For the first meeting, a recent calendar and short summary are usually more useful than years of messages. Show ordinary school days, overnight stays, transport, holidays, medical needs, important activities and current decision-making. Add any existing Family Advocate question guide answers relevant to the dispute.
The Children’s Act makes the child's best interests paramount and identifies factors such as relationships, caregiving capacity, stability, changed circumstances and the practical effect of contact. The consultation pack should help assess those factors without turning the child into a witness for either parent.
5. Include a usable maintenance snapshot
Prepare a monthly child-expense schedule with the main housing, food, school, childcare, medical, clothing, transport and agreed activity costs. Attach a limited set of recent statements, invoices or receipts that support the important figures.
Where lawfully available, include recent income proof, bank information relevant to the stated means, recurring debt commitments and proof of other dependants. Mark estimates and missing information honestly. Maintenance and contact are separate questions; do not frame payment as the price of seeing a child.
6. Summarise the property and debt position
Bring the antenuptial contract and a one-page inventory of the home, other property, vehicles, material accounts, investments, retirement interests, business interests, insurance, loans, guarantees and tax liabilities. For the first consultation, the lawyer needs to know what exists and what is disputed; full valuation evidence can be requested afterwards.
Do not access private accounts, guess passwords or remove documents that you are not entitled to take. Record the suspected gap and ask about lawful disclosure or preservation options.
7. Select communications instead of exporting everything
Choose the complete threads that show the immediate issue, most recent proposal, agreement or refusal. Preserve the full native archive separately. A few context-rich exchanges are more useful at intake than hundreds of isolated screenshots.
Do not ask a child to collect messages, write a statement or record the other parent. If the child's views are relevant, ask how they should be obtained through the appropriate child-sensitive process.
8. Use a missing-document list
Create a table with the missing item, expected holder, why it matters, request already made and date needed. This turns a gap into an advice question. It also prevents the first consultation from being postponed indefinitely.
The retained complete divorce-with-children evidence guide explains the deeper archive, original-file and evidence-preservation work. This page owns only the prioritised pack sent for the first legal decision.
9. Confirm the secure handover
Before sending identity, banking, medical or child records, verify the practitioner and transfer channel. Ask about file naming, maximum size, password protection, who will access the records and which documents should not be emailed.
Use the divorce preparation checklist as a final intake check, then ask the practitioner to identify the next document request rather than repeatedly sending an expanding archive. The divorce process guide provides the broader sequence.
FAQs
Should I postpone the consultation until every document is available?
No. Bring the urgent papers and best available summary, then list missing records. Do not let document collection cause you to miss a court, safety or financial deadline.
Do I need to send every message between the parents?
Usually not for the first meeting. Select complete threads relevant to the immediate issue and preserve the full native archive for later review.
Should I bring the children's medical and school records?
Bring records material to current needs, costs or disputed decisions, using a secure channel. Avoid sending extensive sensitive information that has not been requested.
Can I take documents from my spouse's private account?
Do not access accounts or records unlawfully. List what appears to be missing and ask the lawyer about lawful disclosure or preservation routes.
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Legal note
This article is general legal information for South African readers. It is not legal advice. Speak to a qualified legal professional about your specific facts before taking action.