Quick answer
Ask questions that leave you with a classified matter, immediate risk plan, child-arrangements route, maintenance route, financial-disclosure plan, first deliverable, fee scope and next date. The first consultation should not end with only a prediction about winning or a generic explanation of divorce.
Key takeaways
- Begin with safety, served papers and dates rather than a long history.
- Ask how the children's current routine and best interests will be assessed.
- Separate care and contact from maintenance even when they affect the same family.
- Clarify the Family Advocate, negotiation, mediation and court roles.
- Ask which financial records, valuations or retirement information remain missing.
- End with a written scope, cost basis, first output, responsibility and deadline.
How to use this guide
Give the lawyer the decisive facts, then ask what could change the recommended route. Record assumptions and work excluded from the initial instruction.
1. What needs attention before anything else?
Ask:
- Is there an immediate safety or protection issue?
- Has a child been threatened with removal, concealment or an abrupt relocation?
- Which court paper or order creates the earliest date?
- Is urgent maintenance, housing or medical support required?
- What should I do today, and what should I avoid doing?
If the answer identifies urgent work, confirm who is responsible and what evidence must be supplied. Do not leave the meeting with “we will look at it” where a verified date is approaching.
2. What is the legal and procedural route?
Ask which court and process apply, whether a case has started, whether the matter appears agreed or defended, and which documents must be drafted, served or answered. Ask what could make the route change.
Clarify the difference between the divorce claim, child-arrangements work, maintenance proceedings, protection issues and property disputes. They may run together but do not always use the same form, forum or timetable.
3. How will the children's position be assessed?
Ask how the current care routine, relationships, stability, schooling, health, transport, parental capacity and proposed changes relate to the Children's Act best-interests factors. Ask how the child's views may be heard in a developmentally appropriate way without putting the child in the middle.
If a parenting plan is proposed, the parenting-plan question guide provides deeper clause questions. Ask which decisions need detail now and which can be managed by a future review process.
4. What is the Family Advocate's role here?
Ask whether the Office of the Family Advocate is already involved or likely to be relevant, whether mediation or an enquiry may occur, which issues should be narrowed, and what documents the office may need. Confirm that the office is neutral and does not replace independent legal advice for either parent.
Where a report or prior recommendation exists, ask how it affects the present case and whether circumstances have changed.
5. What maintenance question must be solved?
Ask:
- What are the children's reasonable current needs?
- Which expense and income records are required?
- Is there an existing order or informal arrangement?
- Are arrears, variation or enforcement disputed?
- Which costs require direct payment, sharing or reimbursement?
- How should annual increases, school and medical costs be drafted?
Do not ask only for a headline monthly figure. Ask how the amount is supported, paid, reviewed and enforced, while keeping contact rights separate.
6. What financial disclosure is still required?
Ask the lawyer to identify the marriage regime and missing information about property, debt, retirement interests, businesses, trusts, tax, insurance and the family home. Ask which records you may lawfully obtain, which require formal disclosure and which values need an expert.
If the other spouse controls the documents or money, state that early. Ask what lawful preservation or interim options exist rather than trying to enter private accounts.
7. Is the proposed settlement complete?
If there is a draft, ask whether it covers child arrangements, maintenance, property, debts, retirement interests, costs, implementation dates, default, variation and dispute resolution. Ask which clauses are interim and which are intended to become part of a final court order.
Do not accept “standard wording” without testing it against school weeks, holidays, travel, medical decisions, payment dates and the actual asset position.
8. What evidence matters first?
Ask the lawyer to identify the ten records most likely to change the immediate advice. The divorce consultation document guide helps prepare a focused pack. Ask how to preserve the larger archive and transfer sensitive child, banking and medical records securely.
9. What exactly am I instructing and paying for?
Ask whether the first instruction covers advice only, document review, drafting, negotiation, Family Advocate engagement, maintenance work, court papers or full representation. Request the fee basis, estimated first phase, VAT and disbursements, exclusions, approval threshold and reporting rhythm.
The divorce lawyer cost guide explains general cost questions. Your consultation should end with an exact scope rather than an open-ended promise.
10. What is the next written output?
Before leaving, record:
- the issue being addressed first;
- the agreed legal or evidence task;
- documents you must provide;
- the practitioner responsible;
- the verified deadline;
- the expected written output; and
- the decision point for the next phase.
Verify the named practitioner through the Legal Practice Council, but remember that registration alone does not establish family-law experience. The divorce lawyer guide can help frame capability questions.
FAQs
Should I ask the lawyer who will win care of the children?
Ask how the best-interests factors, current arrangements, evidence and process apply. A responsible first consultation should not guarantee an outcome.
Can the same consultation cover maintenance and property?
It can identify both tracks, but each may require different evidence, procedure, scope and cost. Ask which task is included in the first instruction.
Should I bring the children to the first lawyer meeting?
Do not involve the children unless the practitioner or appropriate child-focused professional gives a clear reason and suitable process. Ask how their views should be obtained.
What should I receive after the consultation?
Ask for a written summary of the immediate issue, assumptions, next action, responsibility, documents required, scope, fee basis and controlling date.
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Legal note
This article is general legal information for South African readers. It is not legal advice. Speak to a qualified legal professional about your specific facts before taking action.